One of the big topics that comes up quite consistently in my Unshakable Confidence Coaching is Selfishness
Many people believe that putting themselves first is selfish. Especially us women.
Society tells us we should come last and we are shamed for putting our needs first as mothers, as partners or really in any role.
So I thought I’d share with you what Selfishness really is and offer you ways to think about it differently
In short you have been given a definition of Selfishness that in fact belongs to insensitivity
Being Selfish is not about showing no concern for the feelings or well-being of others. Being Selfish is simply displaying who you are.
It’s easy to believe that being yourself is wrong when everything in our society is made to make you comply with the status quo.
It’s also easy to believe being yourself is dangerous when you had to learn to adapt to social groups to feel part of a community and safe. Applying the rules of the family schools, peer groups because you wanted to belong. Nothing wrong with that, we are social animals.
But once you’ve learnt how to survive in the world thanks to these groups and their teachings, there comes a time to start living.
This requires you to find you, make your own rules and listen to yourself.
This requires you to show up as who you are: to be selfish.
In being selfish, you win if you also apply compassion and empathy.
Selfish doesn’t have to be you against…
Selfish doesn’t have to be divisive. Selfish can be a beautiful way to connect. You, meeting you and allowing the other to meet you. Giving them the permission to meet themselves and yo let you meet them…
Alright now go be selfish!
Love,
Sonia
